Like I mentioned in my last blog post, I always knew I was adopted and my parents always wanted to take us back to our birth countries. I went home for the first time as an international adoptee in 2018.
In September of 2017, my parents decided we would visit my birth country. We also planned to do the birth family search.
Thinking the trip would be so far away, put me at ease. But months flew by.
Thoughts before visiting Guatemala
I did a lot of thinking before visiting Guatemala for the first time. I was ready for whatever situation or question I would encounter.
Two nights before leaving for the trip, I laid in bed thinking. I asked myself this question, “Madison, if it is taking you this long to prepare for the trip (mentally, emotionally, spiritually), how will you feel when you come back?”
That’s when I realized this trip would be something special and I did not need to take anything for granted.
Activities in Guatemala
On Sunday, July 8th, we woke up and traveled to the airport. We arrived in Guatemala around noon, waited for our luggage, and passed through customs.
As I stepped outside of the airport, I felt this overwhelming sense of emotion. I immediately wanted to cry because I felt as if I was home… It is hard to explain, but for once in my life I felt connected to my roots and culture.
Other families were a part of the program who adopted kids from Guatemala. Meeting strangers from the United States at first was intimidating, but we all shared a special bond.
We started our trip in Antigua. We participated in activities and tours around beautiful Antigua. My family and I were able to meet my birth family and share moments with them.
While in Guatemala, we visited Lake Atitlan which is surrounded by villages, volcanoes, and mountains. We took a boat in order to get from village to village. We visited the market of Chichicastenango. The bright colors and market were simply amazing.
On our way back to Antigua, we visited the Iximche Ruins. The architecture of the ruins were incredible.
Lastly, we traveled back to Antigua for the remaining days. We met our sponsored child through Compassion International. My younger birth sister visited Antigua and we were able to communicate despite the language barrier!
Home isn’t a feeling, it’s a place
Then it came to the last night and dinner with all of our new friends… My family went to get ice cream and I walked back to the hotel.
In that moment, I knew I didn’t want to leave Guatemala the next day.
Although I felt like I could not tell anyone. I couldn’t tell my family because their response would have most likely been, “Honey we just spent 12 days down here and a lot of money for this trip. Why would you want to stay? We have to go home tomorrow, I’m sorry!”
I couldn’t tell my family and friends back in the U.S because their response would have most likely been, “Why? Why would you want to stay in a 3rd world country? You have everything here, why wouldn’t you want to come back? It doesn’t make sense.”
The next day we woke up, drove to the airport, and boarded the plane to come back to the U.S.
While we were flying, I started thinking. I thought, “Maddie, people are only going to want to know how it was meeting your birth family. That’s all they care about. They aren’t going to ask how it was visiting your country for the first time. So, you need to come up with 2-3 sentence statement that will provide enough information to where they will hopefully be pleased.” So that is what I did.
Effects of returning back to the U.S
Coming back to the U.S was extremely difficult for me. It seemed like people expected me to flip a switch and be accustomed to America’s society again.
For about three weeks, I was depressed and nobody knew. I played it off so well and immediately wanted to return to Guatemala. It was not possible due to certain situations and altercations.
People assumed it was because of my birth family, but in reality, I wanted to embrace my culture.
Planning my trip back to Guatemala
I planned to visit Guatemala in February of 2021. After I completed college and my NBCOT exam. I would learn Spanish for ten weeks in a Spanish immersion school, come back to the U.S, and then start my career.
If you know me, my plan did not work out at all.
In January of 2021, I postponed my trip due to Covid-19. I decided to travel September 30-December 14 of 2021. I worked in a restaurant throughout those months to save money.
There were difficult times throughout those months and I questioned why my plan never worked.
Then I realized it wasn’t my plan, it was His plan. He had different plans for my life. As long as I trust Him, everything would work out, and that is exactly what I did.
XOXO,
Madison Archer
